This is an update to my original Running Tips post.  For those of you waiting on bated breath…I have not yet crapped my pants while running.  There is still time though.

Because my knowledge is a mile wide and an inch deep I realized I had some more running tips I should share.

16.   If you get a side ache while running there are things you can do.  I’ve found ‘a’ to be the most helpful.

a. Pinch the side where there is a side ache.  If the stitch is on your right side, exhale FORCEFULLY every time your left foot hits the ground.  If the stitch is on your left side, exhale FORCEFULLY every time your right foot hits the ground.  Continue this until the side ache is less painful or entirely gone.

b.  Run with your hands on top of your head with your elbows pulled back and breathe deeply.

c.   Stop running and bend sideways.  Bend to the left if the side ache is on the right or bend to the right if the side ache is on the left.

d.  If it continues, give up.  Hurry home and google ‘side ache’.  Then lie in bed for the next several nights convinced your side ache is proof you are dying of a deadly disease.

17. Don’t increase your weekly mileage too drastically, otherwise you risk injury. There’s various feedback online about what is a safe increase in mileage.  Generally an increase of 10-20% in weekly mileage is safe.  If you are already putting in some serious miles (hats off to you) then a 10% increase might be enough.  If you are running 4x per week….3 miles each time…you could add 2.5 miles per week and it would be a 20% increase.  Just be conscious.  No need to be a rock star.

18.  Heart rate monitors are helpful.  If you don’t have GPS on your phone or on a watch, the heart rate monitor is your best guide for letting you know if your pace is too fast or if you can increase your pace.  I'll be honest, I've never experienced the latter. Your heart rate is a great gauge for longer races so you don’t burn out a few miles in.

19.  The roller is your best friend.  It hurts so good. Your IT band can tighten up from a lot of running and can cause twinges on the outside of your knee.  Rolling out your IT band on a regular basis helps…a lot.

20. If you need a little more entertainment for your runs, this app is A LOT of fun. 

Zombies, Run!

Be forewarned, if you listen to it while running in the woods on a trail system you are not familiar with, you could become lost while outrunning the zombies.  You will then be forced to call your husband at work, ask him to pull up google maps and guide you back to your car.   Your planned 45 minute run will have turned into a two hour experience.  This leaves you with no choice but to visit Yogurtland on your way home to calm your fears of starving to death.

Bonus tip...Use the bathroom before your race.  Passing people while they wait in line for the Porta Potty is the best, and quite honestly, the only way I can move up in the rankings.


Before I bid you adieu.... this is a follow up to item number 10 in my previous post…  My waist band is from SPIbelt.  I bought mine several years ago at the Rock and Roll Half Marathon. I love it! 

I’ve learned a few things over the years about running.  Nothing Olympic athlete worthy, but I believe they might be helpful for the runner wanna-be like me.

1.  Run so you love it.   Sometimes this means walking five minutes and running one.  Sometimes this means taking it slow.  Let’s face it, I will NEVER win any races.  And frankly, I really don’t care to.  The goal is to have the physical fitness to do an exercise no matter where I am, who I’m with or how little money I have. 

2.   Run consistently.  I’m not good at this, which is why I’m always starting off slow.  :)

3.  Buy good shoes.  It’s worth the investment and cheaper than a gym membership.  It’s important to have your running gait evaluated at some place like Super Jock ‘n Jill or RoadRunner.  If you pronate (roll your ankles inward while running) you need a really supportive shoe.  If your gait is neutral, buying an overly supportive shoe is just as damaging as too little support.  Good shoes are worth the investment.  You should replace them every 300 miles or so.

4.  Perfect the snot rocket.   If you are like me, your nose will run more than a prisoner on a jailbreak. 

5. Pretend you are holding batons in your hands OR pretend you are holding a potato chip in between your thumb and finger.  The idea is to keep your upper body quiet and avoid swinging your arms in front of your body. By keeping your upper body quiet you save energy for your legs.  You also avoid unnecessary twisting which puts stress on your hips.

Try to run like my husband….aka the gazelle. I can only run like him for the first 4 minutes or so and then I spend the rest of the time looking like I’m swatting at bees.  Ryan runs beautifully.  Granted, he weighs about as much as my right leg.  I guess it’s easy to run like a gazelle when you’re packing light.  

In case you are confused, I am the one on the right.  I know, we look virtually the same.

6.  Inhale for three steps and exhale for two.  When you exhale while running you land harder on the first step.  Alternating your breaths will alternate the pressure on each leg.  This helps to prevent hip or knee injuries.  It takes some practice, but over time it becomes natural.

7.  Stretch on a regular basis.  It also helps to prevent injury.  

8.   Do a body scan while running.  When I’m tired and want to quit (which happens quite often) I do a body scan.  How do my legs feel?  Good.  How is my breathing?  Fair.  Okay…I can keep going and don’t need to stop.  

Always remember….YOUR MIND QUITS BEFORE YOUR BODY DOES.  Often times, I have to tell my brain to ‘SHUT UP!’  It listens about as well as my kids do.

9.  Maintain a variety of entertainment on your iPod, iPhone or Walkman (if you're over the age of 80).   Sometimes I feel like listening to podcasts.  Sometimes I feel like listening to an audio book.  Most of the time I listen to my hip-hop, foul-mouthed playlist.  

10.   Waist bands are the best.  With a waist band you don’t have to buy a new phone holder every time you upgrade.  My waist band stretches around any size phone, my keys, some cash and a maybe a small snack like Sports Beans, Chomps, etc.  I’d love one that held a burger and fries; especially if it kept the food warm,  but I don’t think Shark Tank has invested in anything like that as of yet.

11.   Earbuds rock! I love my earbuds.  They are the only headphones that don’t fall out of my ears.  

12.   A minute can be a long time.  If you don't think a minute is a long stretch of time, you should try running on a treadmill.

13.   It’s better to run on an empty stomach than a full one…Unless, of course, you like the feeling of a heavy stomach and/or tasting your last meal for the entirety of the run.

14.   Only purchase padded sports bras.  Today I returned from my run and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I’m so thankful my neighbors did not come too close or one of my girls could have poked their eyes out.

15.   Every serious runner has crapped their pants at least once.  By those standards, I will admit, I’m not yet a serious runner (in case there was any question.)

I may or may not let you know if/when that status changes.

A few months back when I cleaned out the contents of my mom’s car I threw everything into a bag, and postponed making the decision of what to toss and what to keep.  Each item I stuffed into that bag told a story, and I knew at some point in time it was a story worth telling.    

My mom’s motto which she repeated quite often, “Hope for the sun, but plan for the rain.”  Prepared.  Always prepared. 

There is only ONE time in my life I can remember her NOT being prepared.  A few years ago my mom, my daughter and I were cross country skiing up in the mountains. Coming down the hill my daughter fell and when I tried to help her up we both tumbled.  One of us landed on my ski causing my binding to break.  Stuck out in the middle of nowhere we weren’t sure what to do, but within a few minutes a group of skiers happened to cross our path.   Luckily, one of the skiers had duct tape in her coat allowing us to tape up my binding so we could continue on our way.  When we cleaned out my mom’s closets a couple months ago we found duct tape in most of her fanny packs and her ski coat pockets.

Back to the contents of my mom’s car:  ordinary, impressive, hilarious, questionable.  Why in the world does someone need white chalk in their car??

The chalk in combination with the two measuring tape reels and the one plastic blue glove make me wonder if she was an undercover CSI agent.  Suppose she came upon a dead body and needed to survey the scene?? 

The disposable camera must have been necessary to document the crime scene.  And if the assailant did happen to come back to the scene she could beat them off with the large wood stick she kept hidden by the driver’s side door. 

I seriously doubt the blue glove and wood stick was indicative of my mom having an OJ Simpson persona, but the electrical tape and Swiss army knife make me wonder. 

Perhaps the blue glove in combination with the CPR Micro Shield Rescue Breather makes more sense.  Maybe she was preparing for the day she witnessed a horrible crash and needed to administer CPR and first aid without getting any blood on her one hand.  She did have Band-Aids in her car, but they appeared to be from the 1970’s.  Not sure they would be effective or sterile at this point in time. 

You know what???  Come to think of it she said she kept the camera in her car in case she was ever in an accident and needed evidence of the accident for insurance purposes.  I doubt that would ever happen though.  She had three sets of eye glasses stashed in various places of her car.  There’s no way she wouldn’t see an approaching vehicle.  With the three pairs of eye glasses, two sets of sun glasses and the windshield defogging cloth her visibility had to be 20/20.

You never know though….her visibility could have been compromised if she was ever stuck in a snow storm.  If she was…no worries.  She had two ice scrapers, two head warmers, a set of chains and a box of kitty litter.  (Kitty litter is used to throw onto the ice if your wheels spin and can’t get traction.)  She also had a stash of dog cookies but unlike the kitty litter, the dog cookies were actually used for her granddogs or ANY dog for that matter.

In the rare case the chains and kitty litter did not work to get her unstuck, she had a miniature pillow and two wool blankets to keep her warm.   She also had her choice of musical entertainment:  Kenny Rogers Love Connections, Dave Brubeck’s Greatest Hits or Tom Petty’s Highway Connection.  But if she wasn’t in the mood for music she could always listen to one of her two audio books: Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons or David Baldacci’s First Family.  

When the tow truck finally arrived she would definitely look presentable having taken great care to comb her hair and apply Chap Stick while looking in the 5x7 mirror she kept tucked away in the glove compartment. 

Also in the glove compartment was a handicap permit.  Handicap permit???  Please.   I have a hard time thinking of her as handicap.  Especially when I find a zip lock bag full of of bungee cords, straps and florescent pink ribbon used to harness her bike onto the back of the car.  Although if I’m wrong about the cords and straps being used for her bike….I must admit my mind goes back to the OJ Simpson theory.

It truly is amazing she had any room whatsoever left in her glove compartment after finding the EIGHT receipts dating back to 2012 from Brown Bear Car Wash.  Did she keep the receipts just in case she was dissatisfied with the Beary Good car wash and wanted to dispute the charge??

Of course there was all kinds of regular stuff in her car.  Stuff that most of us seem to carry with us: coupons for Burger King, pens, phone charger, garage openers, umbrellas, gift cards, registration, insurance cards and a plastic Jesus with broken off feet carrying a baby on his shoulder who is sadly missing his head.  

Of all the things I’m throwing away I’m having a hard time giving up Jesus.  There has GOT to be a reason she kept this in her car.  

Our stuff.  Their purpose.  The story.   

What would your car say about you??  Mine would say I was scared of starving.  I don’t have blue gloves, bungee cords or kitty litter….but I do have snacks.  Lots of them.

Ryan and I have somewhat of an open relationship.  I’ve come to terms with this over the years.  I have competition and I'm okay with this. There are so many other amazing qualities about him.  I don’t want this one little thing to overshadow everything else.   

This is the special Valentine’s Day card Ryan received this morning.   

Dear Ryan,
Words cannot express how much my life has changed since the moment we met.  I didn’t know what true happiness was before you came along.  You have shown me a world I never knew existed.   A world of laughter, love and exploration.

I feel honored you share with me a side you don’t show the rest of the world.  A man who is serious, silly, kind, generous, curious and has an incredible sense of humor.  You take better care of me than I ever thought possible, and I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as incredible as you.   I am and always will be eternally grateful you chose me to share your life with.  

It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together, your touch still makes me feel as wonderful as it did the moment we met.  The card is true.  You do turn me on.  But what means more to me than anything, and to your wife’s dismay, you rarely turn me off.    

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,
Your Laptop"

Have you ever imagined what your parents would have posted if they had Facebook while raising you??  The thought occurred to me this morning after dropping off my daughter at school.  She (or mainly me) had a very funny moment and one of the first things I thought was “Facebook material?  I think so.”

On my 40 minute drive back home I thought of all the things my mom and dad may have posted 30 years ago…

“Stayed up late making sandwiches for skiing today.  Dog ate the whole damn bag while we loaded the car.  Ugh!”

“No hot buttered rums tonight.  Sure…translucent colored rum with 3/4 water and ¼ rum is the way the bottle is supposed to look.” (Wasn’t me for the record.)

“Deal is done!!!  We are owners of a dirt filled, sage brush piece of Lake Chelan waterfront property!!”

“Great Christmas morning!!! Best gift by far was watching my son in law’s face while he ate the dog jerky we wrapped up in his stocking.  Ha ha!!”

“Sat at the beach lot and watched the ash plumes rise from Mt. Saint Helens.  Crazy!!”

“OMG!!! Mike thought a rogue piece of chocolate sitting on the carpet came from the piñata.   Turns out is wasn’t from the piñata, but the poodle.   Guess he won’t be joining us for dinner.”

“So much fun at Mike’s company party last night.  Told the girls mommy had the flu which is why we needed to pull over a few times on the way home.  LOL!!”

It is so crazy to think we chronicle the funniest, saddest and most pivotal moments in our lives.  If only our parents had been able to do the same.  

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what you think your parents would have posted back in the day.  Take a second and share!