Today would have been my parent's 54th anniversary. I've thought of them every day since their passing. Today is no different. The only difference between today and every other day is the time I spent reflecting upon their marriage.
It's impossible to say any marriage is perfect, at least if you define perfect by our idealizations and what is modeled in the movies. We often times create an image in our head of what we want our life to look like, how we imagine our kids will behave and what we expect of an ideal spouse. The truth is, the closest we can come to perfect is when we accept the imperfections. My parent's marriage was imperfectly perfect.
If they were here today I'm sure they could quickly list the things they would change about the other person if they had their way. I'm guessing my mom would've wanted my dad to take better care of himself, be a little more adventurous and be more driven to climb the corporate ladder. My dad would have probably wanted my mom to dial back her intensity, lower the volume in her voice and interrupt a little less. However, I believe that if each one changed those pieces of themselves they would have lost so much of what made them work well together.
My dad's laid back behavior toned down the intensity of my mom. They not only learned to accept each other's faults, but they learned to laugh about it. He would say, "I'm sorry Diana. I shouldn't be talking while you are interrupting." His lack of interest in exercise or healthy eating, well, the only good thing that came from that is the material he used to make everyone laugh. In contrast to my father's sometimes lackadaisical behavior, my mother's intensity got shit done. Because she was intense and driven, our family experienced amazing things. I think we all could have done without the 'Power Yell', but even that got shit done.
They fought. They made mistakes. They made up. They accepted and forgave. They loved each other...imperfections and all.
For those of you who know my family, you know the Crosby kids were never deprived or short on the reception of their love. But as kids we knew they loved each other more than they loved us. I say this with pride. They loved each other with priority and abundance so as kids we felt safe. We felt secure. We felt love all around us.
And so today, although broken hearted they are not here, I am thankful they are together. I believe it is because they loved one another as they were, they are together today loving one another where they are.
I wrote this poem several months ago in honor of my parents. I know they are here all the time. They live within us and around us always. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.
Sun Kisses
I did not want to leave
I could not say goodbye
You asked me to let go
And let my spirit fly
Caught your tears as I left
Released them up above
When it rains on your face
This is me, my love.
I am on the hillside
In the grass that grows
I caress your skin
In the wind that blows.
Know that I am here
Though not in flesh and bone
I am all around you.
You are not alone.
Birds who fly and sing
Sun kisses on your face
I am all around you
I fill the empty space
You took my pain that day
Held it as your own
You freed me from my chains
To begin my journey home
You long to hear my voice
With aching in your heart
Do not weep, my love
We are not far apart
I caress your head
As you start to dream
I have never left
I’m closer than it seems.
Know that I am here
Though not in flesh and bone
I am all around you.
You are not alone.
Birds who fly and sing
Sun kisses on your face
I am all around you
I fill the empty space
It's impossible to say any marriage is perfect, at least if you define perfect by our idealizations and what is modeled in the movies. We often times create an image in our head of what we want our life to look like, how we imagine our kids will behave and what we expect of an ideal spouse. The truth is, the closest we can come to perfect is when we accept the imperfections. My parent's marriage was imperfectly perfect.
If they were here today I'm sure they could quickly list the things they would change about the other person if they had their way. I'm guessing my mom would've wanted my dad to take better care of himself, be a little more adventurous and be more driven to climb the corporate ladder. My dad would have probably wanted my mom to dial back her intensity, lower the volume in her voice and interrupt a little less. However, I believe that if each one changed those pieces of themselves they would have lost so much of what made them work well together.
My dad's laid back behavior toned down the intensity of my mom. They not only learned to accept each other's faults, but they learned to laugh about it. He would say, "I'm sorry Diana. I shouldn't be talking while you are interrupting." His lack of interest in exercise or healthy eating, well, the only good thing that came from that is the material he used to make everyone laugh. In contrast to my father's sometimes lackadaisical behavior, my mother's intensity got shit done. Because she was intense and driven, our family experienced amazing things. I think we all could have done without the 'Power Yell', but even that got shit done.
They fought. They made mistakes. They made up. They accepted and forgave. They loved each other...imperfections and all.
For those of you who know my family, you know the Crosby kids were never deprived or short on the reception of their love. But as kids we knew they loved each other more than they loved us. I say this with pride. They loved each other with priority and abundance so as kids we felt safe. We felt secure. We felt love all around us.
And so today, although broken hearted they are not here, I am thankful they are together. I believe it is because they loved one another as they were, they are together today loving one another where they are.
I wrote this poem several months ago in honor of my parents. I know they are here all the time. They live within us and around us always. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.
Sun Kisses
I did not want to leave
I could not say goodbye
You asked me to let go
And let my spirit fly
Caught your tears as I left
Released them up above
When it rains on your face
This is me, my love.
I am on the hillside
In the grass that grows
I caress your skin
In the wind that blows.
Know that I am here
Though not in flesh and bone
I am all around you.
You are not alone.
Birds who fly and sing
Sun kisses on your face
I am all around you
I fill the empty space
You took my pain that day
Held it as your own
You freed me from my chains
To begin my journey home
You long to hear my voice
With aching in your heart
Do not weep, my love
We are not far apart
I caress your head
As you start to dream
I have never left
I’m closer than it seems.
Know that I am here
Though not in flesh and bone
I am all around you.
You are not alone.
Birds who fly and sing
Sun kisses on your face
I am all around you
I fill the empty space
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